For Halle - July 2012

Dear Halle,

Several times already in your fairly brief life so far, I've wanted to freeze time and keep you the way you are (or were). And yet, as you continue to grow, I continue to be amazed at how I grow to love you more and more. And if I had frozen you in time somewhere along the way, I would never have experienced the many incredible phases of you that were yet to be...and are still yet to come. You are truly the joy in my life. Your pure comedy and genius make me laugh every day, your kindness and compassionate heart bring me to tears, and your gigantic loving hugs sustain me when life is tough. 

You are naturally bursting with creativity. You see everything in the world as a simile—“Olivia crawls all over you like a big cat, you're muddy like a swamp monster, I'm sick like a bunny in the mud...” You easily make connections amongst the things around you. And oh how you love to pretend. You're a pirate, then a queen or a princess, then a superhero. You're a leader when it comes to pretending. You're at the forefront in your peer groups during imaginary play, always deciding what will happen next. You seem to be most comfortable playing with boys your age, which is good since there are currently no other girls in your primary class.

I worry you'll be bored in kindergarten. You're already reading between a first and second grade level and your mathematical reasoning is also well above the norm. But then I remember how much you like socializing with other kids, and I know you'll be just fine. I'm sure you'll be a great help to your teacher and a great example to the other students in your class. I think you were born to be a leader. I love seeing you demonstrate that fire, that zest for learning and life. You're fearless when it comes to making friends. I wish I could say you learned all of this from me, but I can't. You are a unique spirit with talents and abilities innately your own. I only hope I can nurture them in the way you deserve.

You love to dance and sing, which couldn't be more exciting for me. You have a fantastic sense of rhythm and can learn and remember dance routines faster than anyone else in your classes so far. You're attending two dance classes this summer (2 hrs per week). You're usually dancing everywhere you go, as opposed to just walking. You carry a tune quite well and I can't wait to see how much you'll love the performing arts class you're signed up for this fall.

You are truly a resilient child. You've handled our most recent move like a champ. And you seem genuinely happier to be where we are now. It helps that it's a familiar place you lived in once before, but you still handled the changes with grace and poise beyond your years. You also do extremely well with the regular transition between mama's house and daddy's house. This is one of the things I am most grateful for in the whole world right now. I hope someday you'll understand why your experience has been different from many of your peers. And I hope you'll see that your life has actually worked out for the very best. I think you will.

Your relationship with your step-dad just gets stronger. I see that you adore him. He certainly adores you. Even though he's a very busy guy at the moment, he always makes time to really play with you and talk with you and let you know how important and special you are. And I can see that you recognize how genuine he is in his efforts. He has truly changed your life for the better. I hope someday you realize just how much.

You love technology—maybe a little too much. I have to keep an eye on that and limit your access to the iPad, iPhone, etc. You love to call people on my phone...especially your Aunt Breckon. Usually, you want to know where Britain is and if he can play. You sure love that kid. He's pretty much like your brother. You love him like a brother, and you fight with him like a brother. But at the end of the day, I think you are both each other's favorite person right now. I hope that never changes. You're very blessed to have him around whether you're at mama's or daddy's, or really wherever. And that goes double for your Aunt Breckon. What a guardian angel she is in your life. I hope you always stay close to her and appreciate everything she does to watch out for you and care for you. I know she has a sincere, deep love for you. And you're lucky. Because she's pretty much the most awesome person I know.

You love all of your family. You're a wonderful big sister. Olivia is overjoyed when you are near, and you are always more than willing to help me take care of her. Someday you're going to be a spectacular babysitter. You're always asking to visit your grandparents. And you give all of your great-grandparents enormous, enthusiastic hugs the moment you see them. I hope you know how much joy you've brought into their lives. I often think about how hard it was for me to work full-time when you were a baby and toddler. I feel like I missed so much of your life. But, one silver lining for me is to think of how much light and happiness you brought to your great-grandparents when they were able to babysit you. I don't think you can even possibly comprehend how much better you make life, for everyone around you, just by being you. Again, someday, I hope you will.

Every time you go to your daddy's for the weekend, when I pick you up after those couple of days, I'm just amazed at how beautiful you are. Your big brown eyes certainly melt my heart, your hair is long and thick and gorgeous, and you just carry yourself with such confidence and, well, a little sass. I hope you never lose your confidence. In fact, it's my mission to ensure you don't. If I teach you nothing else, I hope you come to know you are a divine daughter of God, that you love and respect yourself, and that you believe you deserve the very best life has to offer. 

We read the Book of Mormon reader together every night. You are fantastic at reading all by yourself. We get through the really long words and names together and we're focusing on your comprehension...because that's really the point of reading, especially the scriptures. You volunteer to say the prayer often and you do a fabulous job. I find it interesting that lately your prayers include only expressions of gratitude. You don't feel it's necessary to ask for much. You're much more interested in being thankful for the blessings we already have. I love this. I think it's just something that is a natural part of who you are.

I know I'm not a perfect mom, but I love you more than anything else in this whole universe. And I'm doing everything I can to make sure you get everything you need in life—in my own humble way. Thanks for being patient with me. I'm eternally grateful for the privilege of being your mom.